这些经历好讨厌

I feel so exhausted from chasing after this—I’m really too tired.

1. In Vancouver, Canada, my mom and brother are blue-collar workers, while I am white-collar, having graduated from UVic.

2. My dad works in real estate development in China, living a relaxed life in a second-tier city.

3. My family does have assets worth 4 million CAD.

But my income is too low. I’m already 32 years old, and I really want to move back to China. I must work hard for property ownership, become an engineer in Vancouver to make up for my shortcomings, and work until I die because my English writing skills are simply not good enough.

I don’t want to keep trying anymore. I will never find a job. I really want to go back to China.

It’s really hard to control human laziness. My English is truly worse than my Chinese，there’s nothing I can do about it. My rsum is full of struggles and hardships，it's too much.

From what I understand, it’s easy for women to live a middle-class life，just speak good English and have a high degree. Regardless of race or skin color, it’s very easy.

But I’m not willing to accept this. When I was a child, my family bought a house but had no money for tutoring. It was really tough. Because of that house, I lost my English writing skills.

Even though I have a UVic degree, my English writing skills are still weaker than my Chinese writing skills. I’m not young anymore。I really don’t know what the value of life is.

For people of our social class, we were supposed to just study well and earn money. But now, life feels terrifying and completely empty.

 At 32, whether in China or Canada, that’s already considered quite old. The outstanding local women have long been married, and those left in the middle class are stuck between high and low，neither here nor there.

I can’t find a professional job, which means I will never get married. This is destined. Life is irreversible. Without this job, I will return to China.

I would rather go back to China and remain single for life，just stay at home and collect rent.

My friend got her job through marriage and education. She married a Westerner and changed her last name to his，their next generation will be mixed-race.

Her parents in China are intellectuals, but they were only a middle-class immigrant family. Even though she graduated from UBC, she married out and now has a good job.

 I also have friends who are mixed-race UBC software engineers and private pilots，but I don’t want my next generation to be mixed-race.

That guy’s family background is good because his parents are locals. It’s not that I’m racist, but my family has struggled so much, and his family is different from ours，his is an intellectual family, which is not suitable.

Back in China, our family is considered middle class, worth about 6 million RMB. We worked so hard to buy property worth 4 million CAD.

It’s not that I haven’t been pursued, but it’s either foreigner with only a high school education or Chinese guys with no education but owning house，we have no common topics.

I already own property worth 1 million CAD，I have nothing more to say.

Many handsome foreign managers and international students have pursued me，but I am from a top local university.

 I work hard and think I’m doing well，but I studied until 4 AM.

Then international students saw that a manager was interested in me, and they gave me trouble，I could only run away.